Link to original video by TED

How to Get People to Do What You Want | Barry Sonnenfeld | TED

Outline Video How to Get People to Do What You Want | Barry Sonnenfeld | TED

Short Summary:

Barry Sonnenfeld, a successful film director, shares nine unconventional tips for achieving your goals, using his experiences directing films like "Men in Black" as examples. He emphasizes embracing pessimism, avoiding overt humor in filmmaking, punctuality, skipping career steps, letting others make decisions, strategic photo placement, acting childishly to deal with bullies, killing off your darlings (in projects), and ordering steak with a picture. These strategies, while seemingly counterintuitive, are presented as ways to navigate challenges and achieve success. The implications are that unconventional approaches can be highly effective, particularly in creative fields. The methods described involve psychological strategies and practical techniques for managing people and projects.

Detailed Summary:

The talk is structured around nine key points, each illustrated with anecdotes from Sonnenfeld's career:

  1. Embrace Pessimism: Sonnenfeld argues that anticipating the worst (e.g., believing a plane will crash) allows for better stress management and a more positive outcome regardless of the actual result. He uses his pre-flight ritual with his wife as an example. "Every time I get on an airplane, I treat it like a failed suicide attempt."

  2. Don't Let Anyone Know It's a Comedy: Sonnenfeld stresses the importance of letting the humor emerge naturally from the performance and situation, rather than forcing it through direction or acting choices. He warns that if the crew thinks it's a comedy, the production will become overly stylized and lose its genuine comedic potential.

  3. Be Punctual: A humorous anecdote about a call from his mother during a Jimi Hendrix concert at Madison Square Garden highlights the importance of punctuality. The punchline emphasizes that being on time is actually being late, and being late can have serious consequences. "Being early is on time. On time is actually late. And late gets you paged at Madison Square Garden."

  4. Don't Climb the Ladder: Sonnenfeld recounts how he landed a job on "Blood Simple" without years of experience, emphasizing the importance of seizing opportunities and not necessarily following a traditional career path. "Don't climb the ladder."

  5. Let It Be Their Decision: While working with Rob Reiner on "When Harry Met Sally," Sonnenfeld learned to let the actors make decisions about their positioning, even if it meant adjusting his lighting. This allowed the actors to feel more comfortable and ultimately resulted in better performances. He illustrates this with a story about Meg Ryan's positioning.

  6. Don't Stand at the End of Group Photos: A simple but effective tip about photo composition to ensure you're visible and not distorted.

  7. Act More Childish Than a Yeller: Sonnenfeld describes building a fort out of pillows and cushions in Scott Rudin's office to avoid his yelling, demonstrating a surprisingly effective strategy for dealing with difficult personalities. "I didn't hear you. I'm in my fort."

  8. Be Prepared to Kill Your Darlings: Sonnenfeld recounts how he had to remove a favorite scene from "Get Shorty" to stay within budget, illustrating the need to make tough decisions to achieve overall project success.

  9. Always Carry a Picture of Your Desired Steak: A humorous closing anecdote about using a picture from a SkyMall catalog to order his steak perfectly, emphasizing the importance of clear communication and avoiding ambiguity. "Never, ever, ever, ever say 'Cook it like this.'"

The overall message is that success is not always achieved through conventional methods. Sonnenfeld's unconventional tips are presented as a blend of practical advice and psychological strategies for navigating the complexities of creative projects and interpersonal relationships.