Link to original video by Stoics Everyday

7 ATTITUDES of a person who ONLY USES YOU and DOESN'T CARE about YOU | Stoicism

Summary of "7 ATTITUDES of a person who ONLY USES YOU and DOESN'T CARE about YOU | Stoicism"

Short Summary:

This video explores the concept of recognizing when someone is using you and doesn't truly care about you, using the principles of Stoicism as a guide. The video identifies 7 specific attitudes that reveal this behavior, such as broken promises, disregard for your needs, diminishing comments, and absence in critical moments. It emphasizes the importance of maintaining inner peace and self-respect by focusing on what you can control, such as your thoughts and reactions, rather than trying to control others. The video encourages viewers to practice Stoic techniques like recognizing manipulation, setting boundaries, and cultivating relationships based on mutual respect and empathy.

Detailed Summary:

Introduction:

• The video begins by introducing the topic of recognizing when someone is using you and doesn't care about you.
• It highlights the pain of investing in a relationship only to discover it's hollow and meaningless.
• The speaker emphasizes that Stoicism offers a way to protect yourself from this by recognizing the actions that reveal someone's true intentions.

7 Attitudes to Watch Out For:

1. Failure to Fulfill Promises:
   • The speaker uses the example of a Stoic philosopher who lent money to a friend who broke a promise to repay it.
   • The video emphasizes that while you can't control others' actions, you can control your reaction.
   • It encourages viewers to find strength in what they can control: their thoughts, emotions, and actions.
2. Disregard for Your Needs or Feelings:
   • The video uses the example of a young man who helps a friend but feels neglected and unappreciated.
   • It emphasizes that your happiness and peace shouldn't depend on others' attention.
   • It encourages viewers to maintain their dignity and self-worth regardless of others' disregard.
3. Diminishing or Disdainful Comments:
   • The speaker quotes Epictetus: "Remember it's not what happens to you but how you react that matters."
   • The video encourages viewers to not let others' words define their worth.
   • It emphasizes that your worth is something you carry within, unassailable and purely yours.
4. Absence in Critical Moments:
   • The video uses the metaphor of a storm to illustrate the feeling of being abandoned by a friend.
   • It encourages viewers to find strength in their own resilience and not rely on others for their peace.
   • It emphasizes that your strength is not reliant on anyone else's presence or validation.
5. Guilt Manipulation:
   • The video uses the example of a friend trying to guilt-trip another into doing something they know is wrong.
   • It emphasizes that no one can make you feel anything unless you allow them to.
   • It encourages viewers to recognize manipulation and stand firm in their convictions.
6. Only Available When They Need Something:
   • The video uses the example of someone who only reaches out when they need a favor.
   • It encourages viewers to set boundaries and protect their energy from those who take without giving.
   • It emphasizes that true friends and meaningful relationships are based on mutual respect and balance.
7. Lack of Empathy or Understanding:
   • The video emphasizes that true empathy requires more than just a passing glance; it requires deep, sincere concern.
   • It encourages viewers to seek relationships where there is mutual respect and understanding.
   • It emphasizes that you deserve to be surrounded by people who care about your well-being.

Conclusion:

• The video concludes by emphasizing the importance of recognizing and addressing these signs of being used.
• It encourages viewers to apply Stoic principles to navigate these situations with wisdom, strength, and inner peace.
• It encourages viewers to like, comment, share, and subscribe to the channel for more Stoic wisdom.